While it is true that pretty much everyone who walks down that aisle to get married believes in their heart of hearts that this one will not end in divorce, we all know the odds are not exactly in our favor. Marriage is tough and for many the reality of marriage can mean finding out you didn’t really know the person you married.
Or they changed into someone you really don’t want to be with anymore. Whatever the reason, if it is becoming obvious that this marriage is on the rocks and headed for the Big D, then it is time to take stock and find out what you need to know to ensure you have taken care of the basics before even starting the talk divorce.
Financial Basics Before Divorce
Since we know that most women today end up with a lower standard of living then men when they go through a divorce, you will need to do a few things to ensure your have your own finances in order. Take a thorough inventory of everything financial and all documents that show what you own or should have a piece of when divorce comes. Along the way, you need to start putting aside funds to cover any fees and make sure they are in a secure account that only you can access.
Of course, this means that if your bank accounts are in both your names, it is time to get your own bank account and start having your own finances moved into this account now. At the same time, open up a safe deposit box in your name and put all your important papers there and open a post office box for all your correspondence moving forward.
While it may feel uncomfortable to talk to someone about this, you will need help in the divorce proceedings. Don’t expect to go this alone, and don’t wait until it becomes untenable. You can contact a divorce lawyer if you need help, even if it is just to have a legal eye to tell you what to expect. You would be surprised what comes up in a divorce once the cat is out of the bag. Don’t be afraid to insist on your rights, and make sure you know what those rights are in your state.
Going through a divorce is also hard on a woman emotionally, so be ready to ask for support from friends and family. You may be surprised at who will be there to get your back and who will not. If you find yourself feeling fragile emotionally, get professional help to see you through. Don’t try and be the tough gal who will just keep her chin up, this is hard as many you know who have gone through it. There is no shame in admitting you need help.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
It can be intimidating to start divorce proceedings, especially if your partner is someone who has dominated the relationship. Remember that through this all, there is a new beginning at the end. However hard it is, however tough it can be, you will get through it. At the end is a new life, the one you deserve.