How Does Divorce Affect Adult Kids?


Divorce is never easy, but when we think of divorcing parents and how it could impact the kids, we envision children who are young or within their teenage years. Of course, divorce can have an impact on younger children. However, that does not mean you can overlook the devastating effects of divorce on adult children and how it could alter their lives and cause them to act out in certain ways. What’s more, if your adult child has a family of their own, you may need to keep an eye out to ensure that the breakdown of your marriage will not contribute to family problems of their own.

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Whether you are a parent about to divorce or you are the adult child wondering how your parent’s divorce could impact you, the below article explores how certain emotions could manifest themselves.

Cause Doubt

If you had a happy marriage or managed to shield your children from any marital issues you may have had, then a divorce may be unexpected and catch them by surprise. This can cause them to doubt not only your relationship, but potentially theirs, too. They may question their own marriage or romantic relationships, as well as any friendships they have. And while this may be difficult for you to see (as no one likes to see their child in pain), there is only so much you can do to settle them.

Have you and your ex-partner (or just you if there is confrontation with your ex) sit down with your child and explain the reasons behind the divorce. There may be serious issues that you kept a secret and that once explained, help your child understand and see the divorce as a necessity. This can also help your adult child understand that the breakdown is natural and that they are not to blame.

Impact Their Relationships

As briefly mentioned above, your divorce may impact your adult child’s own relationships, therefore you, your ex-partner and the partner of your child may wish to keep an eye on how they react and treat their relationships (romantic and friendships). Your child may pull away from their partner, second-guess their feelings, and even consider if love is real and can last forever. This doubt is normal, so it is essential that they have someone to talk to so that it prevents them from spiraling and damaging the relationships they have built.

May Push Them Away

Your divorce may cause them to push you away and keep you at arm’s length. While this can be hurtful, it could also be what they need while they process the events that have transpired. Your adult kid may also blame you and your ex-partner, or one of you, for the breakdown of the marriage. The best way to handle this is to continue checking in with your child to ensure that they are okay. Show your kid that you still care and that although you and your ex-partner are no longer together, the both of you remain a constant figure in their life. Also, if you and your ex-partner are having issues, you can always speak to a divorce lawyer on how you can make the process a lot more friendly for your child.

Divorce is a difficult and trying time for all, but that does not mean you should stay in a loveless marriage. Speaking with your adult child so that they understand the situation is the best course of action. However, once the divorce proceedings are underway, make sure to be supportive for your child as they are likely to be feeling a vast array of emotions.

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